3 months past, but i still don't understand why the memories keeps haunting me..

Maybe the love for you is too strong..
Maybe i sacrificed too much when we were together..
Maybe i was hurt too deep by the things you said and did..

I hate the 25th of every month!!

Among all the Doraemon i have, i still love the one you gave me the most..not because of the love i had for you, but the memories that it brought back..

That Doraemon, reminds me of the events that took place on the night of my Birthday..that was the first Birthday present that i received from someone whom i really loved alot..it also brought back memories of the next few days..Everytime i look at that Doraemon, i can't help but cry thinking of the things that we went through together, and the things that you had done that hurted me alot..and everytime i think of you, i will be hugging that Doraemon in my arms..

There are times which i wanted to keep it away from my sight, but i couldn't bring myself to do so..i just can't bear to leave and forget those memories that we shared..

I know that by saying these here, its not really fair to that another him..but i know that he will understand the pain that i had gone through all the while..

If i had saved up more money in the past..
If only i had spent more time on my job..
If i had not been such a spendthrift all the while..
If i have loads of money now..
There are too many 'if'' in my mind now..

I've been thinking..what do i excel in?NOTHING!!I'm neither good in studies and relating with people..all i know is - idling around and waiting for my parents to do everything for me..though i'm working now but, have i given any allowance to my parents?No..i even stoled from them when i was young..all i know is to take money from them when i finish spending my salary, though i know that they hardly have anymore left for themselves..I'm being very unfilial..i often quarrel with my dad over very small matters..even to the extent of leaving home..i flared up when things don't follow the way i want it to be..perharps i'm just too sturborn to change..

Work..every 'interest' that i had, it didn't last long..i called it a quit when i find that i couldn't carry on with it..i'm just plain lazy..most of the time i just preferred to stay at home and do nothing..which i regretted alot..i'm not sure after my NS, my interest for Nursing will still be there..and that's wasting money again..

IF only all the 'if' can turn into reality..

Recently i've been thinking through these questions..what makes you like me??Since i'm neither good looking, rich, romantic or whatever the crap..i'm just wondering, to u, what makes me so unique..I don't know if its my problem or what..i'm beginning to feel rather inferior recently..

Recently i've get to know all sorts of weird people out there, for just only 2 months..really an eye opener for me..

There are people who wants to pay me for s** and the amount he is pay is no joke..fcuking $2000!!But of course i rejected la..so cheap..hahaz..
And there are people who begged me to have s** with them without any conditions, people who tells me they like me even when we only met once, and keep bombared me with sms when i didn't reply him for like 10 minutes because i'm busy with my work..
And worse still..there are people who likes to spread rumours of people whom they don't even know!!Bloody hell!!

The world have really changed..why the hell did i get to know all sorts of weird people like these?!I got a feeling there are more coming.=X

We had been seeing each other for almost 2 months liao..and i believe you might be wondering, why till now i've not yet ask you that questions ba..

its not that i don't love you or what..the reason being that at that time, i had not really sorted out my feelings..as in, who do i really love..i admit that at the very beginning, i sort of made use of you to forget the feelings i had for someone else..but now i've gotten my retribution, that is, falling in love with you..hahaz..

Anyway the question, i will ask, real soon..
i love you..

Yes i know this song is emo..and i chose this song on purpose, not only because i like S.H.E and the song..just like i started this blog not because i wanted to share my stuff but to ventilate out myself..

Why do i chose this song??because this is the song which i was listening to when i first realized that i love you..when we were dating..when we quarrelled..when we broke off, and when i keep thinking of you now..

This is the song which reminds me of you..the happy moments we shared, the difficulties we went through, and the bad memories we had..

Hack why am i typing all these??

I've learned something new this week..interview is just like having a written exam..there is a set of standard answers that is expected from the interviewer..and its best not to tell the truth during interview if not you will die big time!!

That's what i got from yesterday's interview..damn it me and my resusitation and Medical ward!!Hope it wont affect my performance and i'm able to get the job..May Guan Yin Ma bless me..

I'm going to miss you again..for these 5 days..

I do love you, but yet feeling insecure at the same time..maybe that's juz me ba..

Tomorrow will be oficially the first day i slack at home..so sian and not used to it..what shall i do??hmm..

Tianshun
25 October 1988
Emotional Creature

Good results for PRCP
Joey Lam